The literary allusions of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

It's been a rough month for my childhood cultural icons.

We've lost Donald J. Sobol (Encyclopedia Brown author), Celeste Holm (Tom Sawyer actor), Sherman Hemsley (George Jefferson himself) and now Mel Stuart, director of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - one of the best kids' movies ever made (read my review on Amazon.com).

The film's original screenplay was written by Roald Dahl and punched up by David Seltzer, who - according to Stuart in his behind-the-scenes book, Pure Imagination - enhanced the dialogue, added the Everlasting Gobstopper and the fizzy-lifting drink storylines, developed the Mr. Slugworth character, and changed Veruca Salt's punishment (in the book, she's attacked by squirrels).

Among the film's joys are its many literary references. It's unclear who inserted them into the screenplay, but they're not in Dahl's original book, which may mean it was Seltzer. Stuart says they're among his favorite parts of the film:

"Miracle of miracles most children had no trouble understanding and appreciating these references. If they didn't understand them the first time around, they caught up with them when they saw the film in later years."

When you start dissecting the dialogue, the film is as much a mashup as the Beastie Boys' Paul's Boutique. Unlike the Beastie Boys, Stuart confirms that the filmmakers got legal clearances for each of the lines, but "happily, most of them are from our good friend, William (public domain) Shakespeare."

One thing for sure: that Willy Wonka is a well-read guy. 

The literary allusions of Willy Wonka:

1. Shakespeare

• "Where is fancy bred, in the heart or in the head?" (the Merchant of Venice) - when I was a kid, I thought it was "fancy bread." D'oh!

• "So shines a good deed in a weary world." (the Merchant of Venice, though it's "naughty" world)

• "Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow." (Romeo and Juliet)

• "Spring time, the only pretty ring time. When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding, sweet lovers love the spring." (As You Like It)

• "Is it my soul that calls upon my name?" (Romeo and Juliet)

• "Bubble cola, double cola, double bubble burp-a-cola -" (Macbeth - the "double toil and trouble" line from the witches)

2. Ogden Nash

• "Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." (Reflections on Ice-Breaking)

•  "99...44...100 per cent pure." (99 44/100% Sweet Home)

3. Oscar Wilde

• "The suspense is terrible. I hope it lasts." (The Importance of Being Earnest)

4. John Keats

• "A thing of beauty is a joy forever." (Endymion: A Poetic Romance)

5. John Masefield

• "All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by." (Sea Fever)

6. Hilare Belloc

• "Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about." (The Microbe)

 7.  William Allingham

• "Around the world and home again - that's the sailor's way." (Homeward Bound)

• "Up the airy mountain, down the rushing glen, we dare not go a-hunting, for fear of little men." (The Fairies)

8. Neil Armstrong

• "A small step for mankind, a giant step for us."

9. Thomas Edison

• "Invention, my dear friends, is 93 per cent perspiration, six per cent electricity, four per cent evaporation, and two per cent butterscotch ripple."

10. Arthur O'Shaughnessy

• "We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams." (Ode)

11. Lewis Carroll

• "You should open your mouth a little wider when you speak." (Through the Looking-Glass)

12. Horace (or was this updated by someone else?)

• "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." (Carmina)

13. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

• "Bubbles, bubbles everywhere, but not a drop to drink." (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner - that "water, water" line)

14. The Bible

• "Across the desert lies the promised land."

• "Swifter than eagles. Stronger than lions."

Any others?

Announcing Indie Game: the Sequel, starring me

I'm ready for my close-up.

If you thought that Indie Game: the Movie was awesome, you won't want to miss Indie Game: The Sequel, starring me.

Here's a short clip of the action; the full-length movie is exactly the same, except it runs for two hours and has a surprise ending where I wake up and it was all a dream.

The film comes out this summer and is rated A - for being slightly less than Awesome.

My 10 fave films of 2011 are all documentaries

The best film of the year: Bill Cunningham New York.

Given the choice between Transformers 3 and reality, I choose reality.

That, and better access to more kinds of films than ever (thank you, Apple TV!), means that each and every one of my top 10 films this year is a documentary.

As well, a number of these movies showed up on TV, but are among the most riveting films of year. I'm not going to punish them for committing the crime of not appearing on a large screen in front of texters, sexters, talkers, and troubled teens.

1. Bill Cunningham New York
A touching portrait of the veteran New York Times' street-fashion photographer, the film has a great subject, timely hook, and its own Rosebud when Cunningham breaks down under a particular line of questioning. The documentary about the man is so much better than the oft-mentioned (though self-congratulatory and delusional) documentary about the institution, Page One.

2. There's Something Wrong With Aunt Diane (HBO)
What made Diane Schuler drive almost two miles on the wrong side of the highway, killing herself and seven other people? This documentary methodically answers the question, and what starts out as being seemingly complicated ends up being something that might be very simple (though no less sad). 

3. Woody Allen: A Documentary (PBS)
Three hours and 15 minutes of pure bliss, including all kinds of things we didn't know about the reclusive filmmaker: he has always used - and still uses - his favorite typewriter, hates his film Manhattan, and doesn't care about shooting multiple takes, because he'd rather be at home watching the Knicks.

4. Cave of Forgotten Dreams
I do a pretty mean Werner Herzog impression, but I stopped doing it about 10 minutes into this fascinating documentary that takes us into the Chauvet Cave of France, where Herzog was one of the very few who got to chronicle the perfectly preserved cave and earliest-known human paintings. What were these people like? What are the origins of the ancient bones? And what does it say about us?

5. Beats, Rhymes, and Life: The Travels of a Tribe Called Quest
Julius Caesar himself would marvel at the inner workings of an influential but troubled rap group. It boils down to Q-Tip versus Phife Dawg, who notes that "Q-Tip wanted the group to be Q-Tip and A Tribe Called Quest, like Diana Ross and the Supremes. I'm Florence Ballard? Get the f- outta here."

6. Project Nim
Why it's not a good idea to treat a chimp like it's a human and then abandon him.

7. The Elephant in the Living Room
Why it's not a good idea to treat lions and snakes like they're humans and then abandon them. Small beef: the movie should be called "the Lions in the Living Room," as (disclaimer) no elephants appear in the film.

8. Klitschko
I have virtually no interest in boxing, but this movie grabbed me by my boxers and pounded me in the face - great interviews with the Russian boxing brothers, Vitali and Wladimir, their parents, opponents and hidden camera footage of Don King trying (and failing) to sign the brothers by pretending to play Mozart on the piano.

9. Bobby Fischer Against the World
Was chess master Bobby Fischer a genius, madman, or crazy like a fox? Fascinating exploration of one of the world's most celebrated and mysterious characters.

10. Urbanized
Third in the Helvetica/Objectified design trilogy, Urbanized looks at the best way to design a city. It's not too late for Winnipeg, especially if we can replace Katz with the Mayor of Copenhagen.

Honorable mentions:

• Tabloid- Why real life is stranger than anything a tabloid could make up.  
• Senna - Another great profile of a man and sport I thought I cared nothing about.
• The Black Power Mixtape - The Swedes visit the U.S. Black Power Movement in 1965.
• Umbrella Man - Errol Morris' six-minute documentary on the mysterious man at the JFK shooting is shown here in its entirety.
• Transcendent Man - In the near future, we'll all be part machine and immortal.
• The Greatest Movie Ever Sold - The clever Morgan Spurlock doc about how product placements work.
• Bad Writing - A fun DIY doc about how one becomes a bad writer.
• How to Die in Oregon (HBO) - The lives of the terminally ill who, in Oregon, can choose to legally decide when it's time to go.
• The Suicide Tourist (PBS) - Ostensibly an episode of Frontline, but really one of the richest and most-moving documentaries of the year. A terminally ill American goes to Switzerland for his scheduled suicide.

Extras! Extras! Sign up for Garrity's new feature film

Garrity at RRC earlier today.

Looking for some "extra" work?

Look no further: filmmaker Sean Garrity is looking for extras to appear in his new feature film, My Awkward Sexual Adventure. For the record: it's a romantic comedy.

For more information, send your name, phone number, and email address to: nextcasting@shaw.ca with the subject line: "volunteer extra for Garrity film."

You'll be notified if and when the crew needs extras.

Ode to the Towne's cinema three

I think that I shall never see
A theatre lame as number three

Three whose tiny screen is prest
Against my eyes as though a test

Three that mocks my sense of worth:
Twice the price for half the mirth

Too high a cost at that deposit
To only quip, "Is this a closet?"

Three you've made many's fate
To look like cheapskates on a date

Oh fools why built you, number three
Twice as small as my TV?

The 10 most obscure and irritating Star Wars bloopers

• 00:00 to 00:01 - See #8
• 5:15 to 5:34 - See #10
• 6:19 - See #7

If it's summertime in Winnipeg, it must be raining, and that means: time to watch Star Wars again.

I've seen Star Wars - the first film, Episode IV, "A New Hope" - about 10 million times, so the last time I actually enjoyed it as a film was when I was 11.

When I watch the movie now, it's mostly to bathe in a warm glow of nostalgia and a find even more obscure bloopers and continuity errors than the last time I watched.

And let's face it: after the first five million viewings, one starts to notice nuances that might slip past the more casual viewer. 

(By now, everyone knows that when Luke returns to the Rebel base at the end of the film, he sees Princess Leia and, fully committed to his craft, yells, "Carrie!")

These are the ones that drive me nuts:

1. The escape clause

Early in the film, R2-D2 and C-3P0 jettison from the damaged Rebel ship in an escape pod. "There goes another one," says the Imperial guard, watching from afar. Later, a guard tells Darth Vader, "An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting."

What happened to all of the other escape pods to which the first dude was referring?

2. A leg up

Before the droids board the pod, R2-D2 extends his retractable leg and wheels toward C-3P0.

In the initial shot, R2-D2's right leg is on a collision course with a metal beam. When the camera switches angles, he's magically found his way around it.

3. Bad table manners

When Luke dines with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, he drags his long sleeve through the meal.

After, he takes a sip from his Tupperware cup and puts it on the table. Cut to another angle, and the cup is suddenly back at his lips, and he again lowers it.

4. Nice bumping into you, big nose

The Imperial spy at Mos Eisley, cunning as he may be, accidentally bumps his long nose with his hand as he directs the Stormtroopers toward the Millennium Falcon.

5. Nice bumping into you II

Princess Leia is brought before Grand Moff Tarkin for a Death Star demo.

When she enters the room, she leans forward to insult Tarkin, and Vader moves in behind her. When she straightens, she bumps into him, and he momentarily recoils like a little wuss.

6. This is CNN

James Earl Jones, of course, is the voice of Darth Vader, dubbing his dialogue long after the films were shot.

Attentive viewers will notice subtle, but recurring, mismatches between Vader's voice and actions, but this is the best one:

After Luke's lightsaber exercise on the Millennium Falcon, the action cuts to a discussion between Vader and Tarkin.

Vader says, "I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion," stops speaking, then suddenly raises his arm again and gestures without saying a word.

7. Crime of the century

Having escaped the Death Star, the Millennium Falcon is attacked by Imperial Tie Fighters.

Han: "We're coming up on their century ships!"

Surely he means "sentry" ships, unless it's a "hilarious" nod to 20th Century Fox, which released the film.

8. The remnants of a dumb gag

How did those pesky Rebels walk around the Death Star without anyone bothering them?

In the original cut, director George Lucas "explained" it with a dumb gag: whenever our merry band came into contact with anyone on the Death Star, they'd "act casual" by whistling, looking away, and scratching their necks.

Throughout the film, you see little moments of what's left of what woulda been a very lame shtick. 

9. Watch, you're back!

During the film's climactic assault on the Death Star, a Rebel pilot warns Luke to "watch your back."

Cut to Luke in his fighter. Suddenly, Luke's own voice comes over the intercom, though it's not clear what he's telling himself.

10. Can I have some batteries for this thing?

After Darth Vader kills Obi-Wan Kenobi, he turns and walks purposefully to address Mr. Skywalker, who is shooting in his direction. In the long shot, as the blast door closes, Vader's lightsaber loses all of its power, looking suspiciously like one of those lightsaber toys that kids buy at Toys "R" Us.

Don't get me started on Empire.

The greatest (moist pants) story ever told!

Roger Moore in For Your Pants Only.

Memo to Q: need rubber spypants.

When I was a kid, I was a huge James Bond fan. I didn't just love the movies: I thought I was James Bond. Even now, I'm one of those guys who has to sing the James Bond theme when I walk through a dimly lit underground parkade.

Pow! Dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da-dum:



So you can imagine how I felt as a 14-year-old to be seeing For Your Eyes Only on opening day: only like the suavest and most debonair kid spy ever.

It was summertime, so when I arrived at the  Colony Theatre downtown, I bought the "best value beverage" - a six-litre Coke, shaken not stirred - and sat down in the only seat left in the place: smack dab in the front row.

I set down my drink on the seat between my knees - "for a second" was the plan - when the lid popped off, and the full contents of the cup poured down the front of my shorts.

With nowhere to run or move, I asked myself, "What would James Bond do?" So, I stayed right where I was, and watched the entire movie with wet drawers, which got progressively colder and more uncomfortable as the air conditioning set in.

After the movie, I took the bus home, shivering in my Coke-imbued shorts - just like James Bond did when he was a kid.

I bombed my Oscar picks - I blame Mel Gibson

 Ms. Paltrow?

The Oscars had part of my attention. The minimum amount.

I got 14 out of 24 correct on this year's Oscar picks, which means I achieved the high, high score of... 58.3 per cent or a "D." Red River College doesn't give "D+," so I can't even give myself that little emotional boost. Boo.

I don't hate the outcome of the awards, but I did hate the awards show. My observations/tweets:

• Actors sure loves actors. "Mel Gibson. Your vulnerability is truthful, raw, bare..."

• Franco and Hathaway have all the sexual chemistry of Rosie O'Donnell and Nathan Lane with none of the jokes. 

• Two-person monologues suck.

• A little Billy Crystal is better than a lot of Franco. 

• Kirk Douglas was the hippest thing about the show, and even he wore out his welcome.

• Creepy and awkward speeches are creepy and awkward.

• Canada doesn't bleep "fuck." The U.S. does. I'm proud to be a Canadian!

• You know there were a million crew members from Terminator: Salvation foaming at the mouth when Christian Bale won the Oscar. 

• The Star Wars theme livens up even the most dismal of wakes.

• Best costume designer, meet Toastmasters.

• Gwyneth Paltrow and Edgar Winter: separated at birth. 

• Jeff Bridges sucks marbles. 

• Spiel is the best Berg.

• They should take Natalie Portman's award back for the Star Wars prequels.

As Roger Ebert so eloquently tweeted:

"The worst Oscarcast I've seen, and I go back awhile. Some great winners, a nice distribution of awards, but the show? Dead. In. The. Water."

Larsen predicts the Oscars '11, humiliates self again

Who will win best picture this year, oh twin suns of Tatooine?

Let the humiliation begin.

As I brag every year, I once won Movie Village's big Oscar contest grand prize by correctly choosing every, single Oscar category correctly - and a free movie rental every day for a year was mine.

The world was my oyster. Kids saluted me on the street. Women fainted in my presence. Trumpets played whenever I entered a room. "But then I began my long, long descent into obscurity," said the guy who last year chose Avatar to win best picture over the Hurt Locker. D'oh!

This year, I'm again using the Vanity Fair Hollywood app to make my Oscar predictions: for my money, a better app than the official Oscar app, which is clunky, clunky, clunky. The VF app features Oscar-related news, trailers, chat, the ability to share your picks on Facebook and Twitter and, on the big night, to track the leaderboard to see how you stack up.

Here are this year's terrible picks. I'm including the degree to which other users of Vanity Fair's app agree with them. This is a competition, not an exhibition. Please wager.

Best Picture
The Social Network (22 per cent agree)
The King's Speech has momentum, though.

Direction
David Fincher - The Social Network (47 per cent agree)
A lock.

Lead Actor
Colin Firth - The King's Speech (77 per cent agree)
A lock.

Lead Actress
Natalie Portman - Black Swan (81 per cent agree)

Supporting Actor
Christian Bale - The Fighter (65 per cent agree)
But I secretly think that Geoffrey Rush might get it.

Best Supporting Actress
Melissa Leo - The Fighter (32 per cent agree)

Art Direction
Inception (62 per cent agree)

Cinematography
Inception (49 per cent agree)
But I secretly think it could go to True Grit.

Costume Design
Jenny Beavan - The King's Speech (eight per cent agree)
I cannot vote for Alice in Wonderland.

Makeup
Adrien Morot - Barney's Version (12 per cent agree)
I'm betting that the Academy goes with a good movie. If not, it'll be Rick Baker's night.

Documentary
Exit Through the Gift Shop (57 per cent agree)

Foreign Film
Biutiful (81 per cent agree)
The foreign film with the actor we know will be out the foreign films with the actor we don't.

Animated Film
Toy Story 3 (81 per cent agree)
Because everyone knows that it's really best picture.

Editing
The Social Network (53 per cent agree)

Score
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross - The Social Network (41 per cent agree)
Music that on paper seems like it would be distracting, but that really works toward making the finished product better than it would be without it.

Song
"We Belong Together" - Toy Story 3 (65 per cent agree)

Sound Editing
Richard King - Inception (73 per cent agree)

Sound Mixing
Inception (75 per cent agree)

Visual Effects
Inception (83 per cent agree)
When in doubt in the small categories, vote "Inception" and you'll be right at least a couple of times, methinks.

Original Screenplay
The King's Speech (30 per cent agree)

Adapted Screenplay
Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network (79 per cent agree)

Live-Action Short
The Confession (55 per cent agree)
Haven't seen it, but the subject matter looks Oscar worthy. 

Documentary Short
Killing in the Name (11 per cent agree)
Same here.

Animated Short
Day and Night (63 per cent agree)
Toy Story 3's opening act, so you can't go wrong.

Thank you for reading. Truly, it's an honor just to have you click through as a unique visitor.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a game

It's like I'm actually at the World Cup!

Should you get your game on when you get your learn on?

Imagine if school was more like a game: you'd "level up" when you master basic writing skills and other milestones, get five points every time you arrive to class on time, achieve a 10-point bonus when you deliver an apple to my desk, and lose 15 points every time I catch you downloading porn in a computer lab.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one:

With the U.S. educational system in the shambles, the idea of "school as a game" is getting more traction, especially as a way to address the issue of women outperforming men at every task and level of education, something that's often blamed on men's predilection for Xbox and PlayStation.

I discovered today that Red River College's Notre Dame campus has installed gaming consoles right there in the student lounge, as if to say, "Hey, kids, wanna play these video games? OK, but first...learn - learn like the wind!"

As a guy who plays more than his fair share of Xbox, I can say that I don't condone gaming as a way of life, but I understand those who do. As a member of the male species, let me just say: we're not a proud group. If it takes turning everything into a game for us to be interested, then so be it - just don't ask me to watch TV and have a conversation with you at the same time.

Life is but a game

School is just the start of it. As a great article in Fast Company magazine argues: "Video games are infiltrating - and improving - every part of our lives."

In the article, game designer Jesse Schnell makes the case that "a real-life game could be stacked on top of reality."

"You'd get points for, well, just about everything you normally do in the course of 24 hours. What were American Express points and frequent-flier miles but games that reward loyalty? Weight Watchers? A game. Fantasy football? A game stacked on top of a game that influences the way you watch a game. In the Ford Fusion, a virtual tree is embedded in the dash. The more gas you save, the more the tree grows. They put a virtual pet in your car, he marveled, and it actually changes the way people drive!"

I already use my iPhone as a "gaming layer" when I check in at a restaurant on Foursquare to earn a badge or get a discount, use the camera function on junaio to look around the Super Bowl stadium, or use the "monocle" feature on Yelp to find out what restaurants are nearby and which of my friends has reviewed them.

What are marks, anyway, but a "score" at the end of a game? And the famous Spider-Man sticker that one of my colleagues gives out to the most notable assignment in the class? Clearly an achievement badge if there ever was one (though the John Lennon in me wants to slap a Spider-Man sticker on every assignment I mark, regardless of the grade - "Nothing to kill or die for!").

Ad, PR, and promos, meet gaming

For this semester's PR proposal - a magazine launch plan - I've asked students to consider adding a "gaming layer," which is becoming more and more important in advertising, PR, and promotions, especially campaigns aimed at "the youth market."

I give you the Toyota tent at the most-recent Lollapalooza - Spin the wheel!; Take your picture!; Win a Prius and cool stuff!; Create art! And then, when you get an income at some point in the near future: buy one!

As the gaming generation grows up, games will continue to grow as a key entry point for product launches, advertising, and sponsorships, and as the key place where the two-way dialogue between product and consumer begins.

Video games have already begun overtaking time spent with other media, especially among teenage boys, who sometimes not only forget to watch TV, but to also eat and sleep when they're immersed in gameplay. 

If gameplay is where the eyeballs are, that's where the conversation has to take place - just ask BMW. 

"Hey, teenage boy: would you like to know more about how BMW is "making its commitment to sustainability throughout the value chain come to life?" No? OK, would you like to play some BMW Efficient Dynamics Pinball on your iPhone for free? Awesome!

"Now that you're done playing pinball, we don't need to have the conversation about BMW reducing carbon emissions - you've just had that conversation with the game."

BMW's experiment in brainwashing.

 If you want to make money from your game, you do what those good pioneers of FarmVille did: start with a free app and get your users to spend "virtual dollars" on value-added extras in the game and make millions of dollars pennies at a time.

As games become more integrated into every aspect of our lives with more immersive controllers, more mobile layers, and more multiplayer-, GPS-, and network-based layers, we'll stop noticing that we're even playing games; we'll just think we're living something called "life."

I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will play as one. 

Dear Oscar: the future of the film isn't in the theatre

 Your giant head is blocking the screen!

Oscar needs to spend a night or two at home on the sofa.

I'm a guy who loves movies and sees virtually everything that gets released - but last year I went to the theatre a grand total of twice.

Blame Apple TV and my kick-ass HD widescreen, coupled with the oh-so-shitty experience that is going to the theatre these days, what with heads of bone and butt talkin', textin', and tweetin' without regard for common human decency.

(I've written a lot about my hatred for theatres in general and Cinema City McGillivray in particular on this blog. Follow these links to read practically the same article you're reading now.)

To anyone who's paying attention, you can see it coming a mile away: the future of the film isn't in the theatre, it's across multiple platforms, wherever people happen to be.

Yes, the theatre will be one of these platforms and places, but just one of them - which is why it drives me crazy that the Academy Awards' rules look like they're from the "talkies" era:

"Academy Awards of Merit shall be given annually to honor outstanding achievements in theatrically released feature-length motion pictures..."

According to the Academy, films that get their first public exhibition in any manner other than "the theatre" can't be eligible for an Oscar - this includes anything shown on TV, released on DVD or uploaded online.

So: Temple Grandin is out, because it premiered on HBO. And so's "the new Mozart" famously predicted by Francis Ford Coppola in Hearts of Darkness: 



The thing is: the future of which he speaks is now, and the question isn't "if" a little girl is going to direct the best picture of the year, it's "when."

Then and now

Mighty prescient of Mr. Coppola, because at the time of that interview, there was no home video industry, downloads, or nothin' - you had to see a movie in the theatre or not at all. Nowadays it's a different story: "home" is the one with the big screen, awesome selection, great food, and respectful audience.



The future of movies

In the future, the people of Earth will laugh out loud at DVD region codes. 

We are ready for movies to be released across non-traditional and multiple platforms - and even for free movies to be underwritten by brand sponsorships or merchandising (as George Lucas predicted with his famously lucrative merchandising deal for Star Wars).

The movies of the future will be interactive, experiential games. The games of the future will be interactive, experiential movies. Who's going to decide where "game" ends and "film" begins?

We will - and Oscar will still be awarding a best-picture award to a talkie starring Julia Roberts.

New Garrity short features famous freshmen

Palmer Fritschy (left) and some actor with a speaking role.

Extras, extras, read all about it!

I just watched a rough cut of Winnipeg filmmaker Sean Garrity's new short, Teeth, and was delighted to see a number of CreComm students in extra and supporting roles - most visibly, first-year student Palmer Fritschy.

Teeth will be released later this year - watch for it at a theatre with a short-film festival (like Cinematheque) near you!

Ten great moments in insult history

I've never been so insulted in all my life.

I wasn't counting on the big response to yesterday's blog post, "What's the best insult you've ever heard or said?" But based on my call for insult submissions, there's clearly a pent-up demand for them - boneheads! Oops, sorry about that.

I thank you all for your input, including the person who helpfully tweeted me this classic insult: "Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet up your purview, and ram it up your ******* with a ********** *****-****!"

At least I hope he was responding to my request...

As a follow-up post, here are my 10 favorite moments in insult history:

1. The French taunting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail



2. Hawkeye in any episode of M*A*S*H

Five-star general: "I find your behavior insulting, Hawkeye."
Hawkeye: "Yeah, well, some guy just insulted this kid's body!"

3. Princess Leia in Star Wars

Among her greatest hits:

• "I recognized your foul stench when I was brought onboard."
• "Would someone get this walking carpet out of my way?"
• "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"

4. Don Rickles, any night

"Hello, dummies."

5. Groucho Marx, A Day at the Races

Flo: "I've never been so insulted in all my life!"
Groucho: "Well, it's early yet."

And a barrage of insults from Duck Soup:



6. Lloyd Bentsen sticks it to Dan Quayle



7. James Cagney says, "Talk to the grapefruit"



8. Winston Churchill tells off a lady

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
Churchill: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

9. David Letterman makes an arse of a Gabor sister

Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Kiss my ass!"
Letterman: "Looks to me like an all-day job."

10. Kenton Larsen to high-school taunters

"Takes one to know one, assface."

John Waters' 10 best quotes from his Winnipeg lecture

Filmmaker John Waters (Wikipedia): haunted and destroyed

1. "It's OK to be angry when you're young, but when you're full of anger at 60, people think you're an arsehole."

2. "Wouldn't your rather your child be a drug dealer than an addict?"

3. "All I ever wanted was the wrath of the Pope himself."

4. "My favorite porn-film title is, "My Ass is Haunted."

5. "I'm for giving out hairdo stamps to the poor."

6. "The best review I ever got was from the Ontario Censor Board. It was a receipt that said, "Destroyed."

7. "If you love your kids, you can put them in the fridge, and they'll still be fine."

8. "The poor kids who are adopted by wealthy actors have won the lottery. We should give Elton John a little gay child."

9. "I'm against the death penalty because I'm afraid I'll get it."

10. "Go to a thrift store, buy the worst clothes you can find, and wear them wherever you go. That's how you start a trend."

Steve Jobs, my Visa, and me

"And this is a photo of planet Earth taken from my spacecraft..."

Every credit card bill tells a story.

Just ask American Express spokesman Tiger Woods, whose expenses include golf clubs, fishing poles, and (INSERT HILARIOUS JOKE HERE).

My September credit card bill tells a gripping story about how the iPad, iPhone, and Apple TV have changed my entertainment consumption, especially over the summer: 500 Days of iPad!

In August, I went to see zero movies in the theatre, downloaded two books on Kindle, and bought 10 or 12 CDs from Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.com, and Borders in Chicago.

The rest was all iTunes all the time: movies and TV shows I downloaded on Apple TV and books and magazines I downloaded on their iPad and iPhone apps or through consolidation apps, like Zinio.

I've also started paying for apps, a slippery slope that starts at 99 cents and ends somewhere around $15.99, which is what I paid for the Chaos Rings iPhone app, based on this rave review in the New York Times, or $19.99, which I paid for the Phaidon Design Classics iPad app.

Just yesterday, I downloaded the Babies documentary on Apple TV and bought the Aug. 30 issue (the CreComm edition!) of the Winnipeg Free Press for 99 cents through the PressReader app - a handy way to organize and maintain your own digital newspaper archive.

So, this is what the bill looks like:

• ITUNES $1.99
• ITUNES $5.99
• ITUNES $4.99
• ITUNES $4.99
• ROGERS $39.20 (iPad 3G charge)
• ITUNES $4.47
• ITUNES $11.19
• ITUNES $5.59
• ITUNES $5.99
• ITUNES $1.99
• ITUNES $15.92
• ITUNES $4.47
• ITUNES $4.99
• ITUNES $1.99

(For the purposes of this blog, I've left out the Star Wars figures, funky shirts, and my Franklin Mint QE II Heirloom Doll Collectibles. How I love me the QE II collectibles!).

It's complicated

You can see why Facebook isn't thrilled with the new iTunes 10 update, which is notable for introducing us to Ping - the new social networking part of iTunes that allows you to follow your friends and see what they've been buying on the site lately, so you can buy it too.

Facebook isn't just mad that Apple is launching its own Facebook, it's mad that Apple attempted to let its users invite their Facebook friends to join in on the fun without Facebook's permission. So Facebook defriended Apple and its relationship status changed to "single."

As iTunes dominates my entertainment dollar more and more, it's sobering to consider that there are 160 million iTunes users on the planet.

What if every one of them buys just one song a month? Or what if, like me, they don't just buy one song, but multiple apps, movies, magazines, books, and TV shows?

The cost of 160 million friends? About $100 billion a month.

The memories? Priceless.

Shoot out the TV: I've seen every Elvis movie

Thank you. Thank you very much - for renting one of my eight, good films.

I can die now.

I just watched Jailhouse Rock. It wasn't so much a Blockbuster night as it was (cue movie-guy voice) "the end of an odyssey of self-discovery 15 years in the making!"

Now, when I walk down Corydon on my way to buy Spider-Man Pez at Sugar Mountain, I can proudly hold my head up high, tip my hat to passersby, and confidently say:

"Out of my way, peasants! For I have seen every Elvis Presley movie ever made!"

Cultural touchstone, showbiz legend

It's true that "you're either a Beatles person or an Elvis person," and I've made no secret of my obsession with all things John, Paul, George, and Ringo on this blog. Did I get the names and order right?

So, I'm not a person who will ever likely feel the urge to go to Graceland, put a rock on Elvis' grave, or rent a spangled jumpsuit (though I'm not ruling it out for later in life).

But Elvis' movies are the stuff of which showbiz legends are made, as these examples show:

• Eddie Murphy: "They let him do movies, and he couldn't act!"

• Jay Leno/David Letterman (at 1:03) "Is the character played by Elvis in every movie named Rick?"

• Tom Hanks (3:40) - "If there's an Elvis Presley movie on Saturday afternoon, I don't care how long the kids sit in the car - we're not going to Disneyland. I'm watching Clambake!"
  

The good, the bad, and the ugly. Mostly the ugly.

The thing is: most Elvis movies are really, really bad. As you see in my one-line reviews/encapsulations, below, there are really only eight that I think are worth watching.

Some of the most-remembered Elvis flicks are painfully bad: Blue Hawaii, Viva Las Vegas, and Girls! Girls! Girls!, which is really just a good title and precious little else.

When you start your foray into Elvis films, you can fool yourself into thinking that you're being entertained, because it's equally jarring and bizarre to see that famous, dead guy "up there and alive," singing and dancing.

But watch too many Elvis movies in a row, and you very quickly lose your movie-reviewer compass, your very morality, sense of right and wrong, good and evil.

Compared to Elvis movies, any "normal" movie looks good. Compared to other Elvis movies, Jailhouse Rock is a classic!

So, I watched these films slowly, one or two a year over the last decade, spanning VHS tapes, DVDs, HD, Blu-ray, and digital downloads, making very sure that I didn't lose touch with the real world, like Elvis did, or lay in bed too long, like Brian Wilson and the Barenaked Ladies did.

After shooting out five or six TV sets with six guns and eating my weight in fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, I broke down the films of Elvis Presley into three categories: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The results:

The good:

Loving You (1957) - Lots of energy, and Elvis's parents have a cameo! One of the finest.

Jailhouse Rock (1957) - Con becomes a singer. The famous musical number is worth the price of admission alone, though I've never seen inmates dance like that in real life.

King Creole (1958) - From the director of Casablanca, so you can't go wrong.

Flaming Star (1960) - Watered-down Western version of the same-old Elvis template and the first sign that Elvis is really bored. Still, it's not an altogether bad morality tale.

Wild in the Country (1961) - Elvis is a believable writer!

Kid Galahad (1962) - Remake of a Humphrey Bogart boxing movie.

Elvis: That's the Way it is (1970) - Great concert documentary.

Elvis on Tour (1972) - Another great concert documentary.


The bad:

Love Me Tender (1957) - "Love Me Tender" was written during the Civil War? Ugh.

Blue Hawaii (1961) - His biggest box-office hit features Elvis, Hawaii, and Mrs. Potts herself, Angela Lansbury.

Follow That Dream (1962) - Elvis is a homesteader moving to Florida. Oh, no...

Fun in Acapulco (1963) - Just like every other Elvis film...but in Acapulco!

Viva Las Vegas (1964) - Elvis drives race cars in Vegas. The soundtrack saves this one...sort of.

Roustabout (1964) - "It's not a circus...it's a carnival!" - Barbara Stanwyck. Elvis - and we - aren't convinced.

Charro! (1969) - Another western with just ONE Elvis song. What gives? Boo.

The Trouble with Girls (And How to Get Into it) (1969) - Terrible title and film in which Elvis runs a Chautauqua and has less screen time than most of the other actors. That's right: Chautauqua.

Change of Habit (1970) - Mary Tyler Moore herself has to choose between being a nun and doing it with Elvis. Get it? Habit?


The ugly:

GI Blues (1960) - One of the worst; a shameless and lame attempt to cash in on Elvis' fame as America's most celebrated draftee.

Girls! Girls! Girls! (1962) - Our fishing guide is torn between two lovers. Should be called "More girls than plot."

It Happened at the World's Fair (1963) - Elvis hitchhikes to the Seattle World's Fair, where nothing happens.

Kissin' Cousins (1964) - Elvis tries to convince his lookalike relative - played by Elvis! - to convert his farm into a missile site. What?!

Girl Happy (1965) - Elvis chaperones a girl whose dad is a mobster. And that's "girl happy?"

Tickle Me (1965) - Yet another ranch, where Elvis runs into yet more wealthy, glamorous babes.

Harum Scarum (1965) - Elvis goes to the Middle East to assassinate an Arab king. Isn't that the plot of the latest Sex and the City movie?

Frankie and Johnny (1966) - Elvis is a riverboat captain with a big gambling problem. Is there any other kind?

Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966) - Another movie in Hawaii? This time Elvis is a helicopter pilot.

Spinout (1966) - Will Elvis get married or drive a race car in the big race? Who cares?

Easy Come, Easy Go (1967) - Elvis stars as a frogman, later inspiring O.J. in more ways than one.

Double Trouble (1967) - Elvis does his best Austin Powers impression as a hip swinger on the loose in England.

Clambake (1967) - Elvis is an heir to a fortune doubling as a water-ski instructor who wishes that girls would like him "for himself." Noooo!

Stay Away, Joe (1968) - An "Indian rights" movie in the worst sense - it exploits American Indians at the same it pats itself on the back for being so open-minded. Embarrassing!

Speedway (1968) - Another racing movie in which Elvis gets upstaged...by Nancy Sinatra and Bill Bixby?! "Don't make me angry, Mr. Presley. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Live a Little, Love a Little (1968) - Elvis gets two jobs and has trouble holding them down. That's it.

Now I know how Elvis felt:



Kenton has left the building.

The balcony closes forever on At the Movies

A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips' publicity pic.

I remember the first time I ever had an inkling that there was a profession out there for me.

I was 10 years old. Star Wars and Annie Hall ruled the box office. And my favorite TV show was Sneak Previews on PBS - a commercial-free movie review show starring my heroes: Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.

"Mom, dad...I want to be...a film critic!"

"Uh, we've never been more proud, son. Now run along: daddy needs a drink."

My desire was solidified some years later when the satirical Spy magazine compared the salaries of the over- and underpaid. According to the magazine, Siskel and Ebert made $1 million a year each compared to a paltry 10 cents per annum for Mother Teresa.

So "nun" was out, then.

Some 30 years later, At the Movies - the show that Sneak Previews became - is going off the air. The last episode is scheduled to run at 2 a.m. Monday morning on CTV Winnipeg (the start time is herky jerky: if you want to be sure see it, set your DVR to record from 1 a.m. to 4 a.m.).

I hate this film - and you, now that I think about it

Siskel and Ebert brought serious movie criticism to TV, but even more than that, they brought smart discussions and passionate arguments about all kinds of movies to the U.S. and Canada, blockbusters and art-house films alike.

Each week on Sneak Previews, they'd review four or five films, give them a thumbs up or down, and crown one "dog of the week" - the worst movie they'd seen in the last seven days.

The commercial-free format gave them time to show extended film clips and talk and (mostly) argue at length.

As the show went along, Siskel and Ebert's attacks on each other got more personal and hilarious, as shown in their review of Bachelor Party, where Siskel also calls Tom Hanks "The poor man's Bill Murray." Ha!



You always knew you'd seen a great show when the guys went off the cue cards and started making bald and fat jokes at each other's expense, like they do here on this classic Late Night with David Letterman clip:



Over the years, Siskel and Ebert proved the cliche, "the reviewers became as famous as the movies they reviewed." Their patented "two thumbs up" - praise from both critics! - is still used today as a way to describe something that's indisputably great.

"How ya doin'?"

"Two thumbs up!"

They achieved the highest form of praise (in Canada at least) by becoming the target of an SCTV parody with Dave Thomas and Joe Flaherty:



Siskel and Ebert also rescued many an art-house film from oblivion - most famously, My Dinner with Andre, a 1981 film depicting a dinner conversation between playwright Wallace Shawn and theatre director Andre Gregory.

Great film!

The departure of Siskel and Ebert

Sadly, Siskel passed away in 1999 after undergoing surgery for a brain tumor, and Ebert's battle with thyroid cancer has left him unable to speak, though he continues a vibrant online presence on his blog, the Chicago Sun-Times' website, and Twitter.

Even after Siskel and Ebert left Sneak Previews, I continued watching the show through all of its incarnations. Forgive me if I've missed any:

• Siskel and Ebert
• Siskel and Ebert and the Movies
• Ebert and the Movies with guest reviewers
• At the Movies with Ebert and (Richard) Roeper
• At the Movies with Roeper and guest reviewers
• The crappy year of At the Movies with the two Bens (Lyons and Mankiewicz)
• The latest version, At the Movies with A.O. Scott and Michael Phillips, who marked a return to the brainy discourse of the original show.

Why has the show been cancelled? Here's what Ebert says on his blog:

"Blame the fact that five-day-a-week syndicated shows like Wheel of Fortune went to six days. Blame the fact that cable TV and the Internet have fragmented the audience so much that stations are losing market share no matter what they do. Blame the economy, because many stations would rather sell a crappy half-hour infomercial than program a show they respect. Blame the fact that everything seems to be going to hell in a hand basket."

While it's true that a glut of online critics has made the necessity of a TV movie-review show questionable, I also appreciate that "the youngsters" today have an opportunity that I never had until later in life to watch films on a variety of media, post their personal thoughts about them on a blog, and then discuss them with the world.

CreComm student Jennifer Hanson, for instance, is watching and reviewing 200 movies this year on her website 200 Movies 1 Woman 1 Blog, as recommended by friends, family, teachers, and you and - in a neat twist of fate - recently had her Twitter-sized review re-tweeted by At the Movies. Nice!

For me, the show's move to commercial TV was the beginning of the end. Suddenly, the reviewers didn't have room to breathe: they had to review more films in less time, necessitating talking over the film clips and making one or two quick points before going to commercial.

***

Apart from writing some movie reviews for Red River College's the Projector, some quick-hit reviews for the Winnipeg Free Press on my internship, and the occasional review on Amazon.com and this blog, I never did pursue my film-review career with any degree of seriousness.

Now, I mostly watch movies that I download online and on Apple TV - I've got Kick Ass, Clash of the Titans, and A Million in the Morning cued up as we speak. Many more use video on demand, rent DVDs, or have Netflix memberships - coming to Canada soon!

More movies are available to more people all of the time, which means that film fandom will continue to thrive in the world with or without At the Movies. Good for the movies! But, I have to say, I'm really going to miss the show, Siskel, Ebert, Roeper, Scott, and Phillips all.

It's the end of an era. The balcony is indeed closed. I'm sad.

Is Limbo the Casablanca of video games?

Limbo: this could be the beginning of a higher monthly Xbox bill.

The video game of the future owes a little something to the Hollywood of yesteryear.

The game is Limbo - available for download on Xbox Live Arcade.

How interesting that at a time when Hollywood looks to 3D to get people back into movie theatres, Limbo looks to 2D and black and white to get them to stay at home.

Achieving a 90 on Metacritic ("Universal Acclaim!"), at it's heart, Limbo is a puzzle game in which you pilot the silhouette of a young boy through a grainy, foggy forest of booby traps and dead bodies in search of a missing sister.

So far, so business as usual: foggy, puzzle, sister, blah blah.

However, Limbo seems to have tapped into something deeper, so that it exists not only to operate as "a game," but also to make us think, contemplate, discuss, and feel, like we do with cinema and - gulp - art.

What better way to answer Roger "video games can never be art" Ebert, or at least budge him toward finally seeing the light?

But don't take it from me: I haven't actually played the game!

A smattering of reviews

1. Giant Bomb:

"Limbo is a game some people will shortly be referring to as not just a great game but an accomplishment. The game is a joy to behold in every aspect. Limbo has a transportive quality that's hard to articulate.

"It so expertly realizes both its internal gameplay logic and its prevailing aesthetic that it almost creates a sort of reverie as you play. The game is a masterpiece."

2. Joystiq:

"I keep coming back to Edvard Munch. I've always been fascinated with Munch, an artist most famous for painting The Scream. It's his other works, however, that tend to stick with me, particularly his Madonna. As a work of art, Munch presents the viewer with seemingly disparate imagery, at once both alluring and disquieting. It's dark, a little disturbing, and yet it's also engaging and beautiful. That's Limbo."

3. Destructoid

"Limbo is as close to perfect at what it does as a game can get. It's artistic without being pompous, difficult without being cheap, and violent without being gratuitous. It gets everything just right, and while the adventure will only take dedicated players a few hours to beat, the memory of the game will remain for much, much longer, and many players won't stop at beating the game just once."

4. The Escapist

"Limbo is genius. Freaky, weird genius. Disturbing, uncomfortable genius."

Black-and-white world

What's cool about Limbo is that by placing the action in a black-and-white world, it imbues video games with a past that they never had; ever see game consoles from the 1940s for sale on eBay? Me neither.

The first thing that occurred to me when I saw the online videos for the game is, "A black-and- white video game? Has that been done?"

Of course it has, but not recently. That I know of.

Having just finished playing Splinter Cell: Conviction, I know that the screen goes black and white when you're hiding in a shadow, and other games have incorporated black-and-white elements into their stories, but if you want full-on black and white, I think you've got to go back to a handful of early arcade games from the 80s:

• Pong
• Asteroids
• Gran Trak 10
• Rebound
• Breakout
• Sea Wolf
• Atari Basketball - featuring two players: black and white!
  

Am I forgetting any?

Each of these games is charming in its own way, but none would likely ever be uttered in the same breath as Casablanca. See?


Is Limbo the first?

Xbox live virgin

So, if this game is so great, why haven't I played it?

Up until now, I've never bothered with Xbox Live. I'm a single-player, hide-in-the-shadows-and-kill-computer-generated-villains lone gunman, tried and true.

But if this game is as great as everyone says it is, maybe it's time for me to bite the bullet and get my free "silver membership" to Xbox Live.

What say you?

Have you played Limbo? Is it worth the trouble figuring out how to plug my Ethernet cable into a connector on another floor?

Or am I fooling myself into thinking that this game will do for me what Casablanca did for me? (Which is: provide me with a lifetime of catchphrases! Ha, ha!). Or would I be better off to figure out how to, say, knit or garden?

Post your comments here, or send me an email if you prefer. In the spirit of online collaboration, I will do whatever my peeps tell me to do.

Don't leave me in Limbo!



Update: got an offer to see the game in action! Will report back if I ever stop playing the game.

Observations and warnings from the British My Winnipeg

"If Liverpool didn't exist, it would have to be invented." - Myrbach.

Winnipeg never got bombed in World War II or spawned the Beatles, but getting bombed at a social while listening to the Guess Who has gotta be a close second.

It's hard not to think about the real parallels between our city and Liverpool (or maybe any city and Liverpool) when you watch Of Time and the City, a 74-minute documentary and meditation on urban change, memory, time and place.

Billed as "a love song and eulogy for Liverpool," Terence Davies' film is a dreamlike journey though Liverpool's history to the present.

The visuals are mostly archival photos and video juxtaposed with gorgeous music and Davies' acerbic voiceover, in which he quotes literature and poetry at the same time he slams the Royals, city planners, British establishment, and even organized religion.

Winnipeggers can think of it as "the British My Winnipeg," even if Of Time and the City errs on the side of poetry where My Winnipeg errs on the side of wacky. When in Winnipeg...

The documentary is unavailable in North America, but you can order it from Amazon.co.uk and watch it on an all-regions DVD player or computer, like me! Or you can troll the torrents, if that's your deal. Troll.

Winnipeg, meet Liverpool

What Winnipegger wouldn't instantly recognize themselves in Davies' neat observation about people and their complicated relationship with home?

"We love the place we hate. Then we hate the place we love. We leave the place we love and spend a lifetime trying to regain it."

Or his take on Liverpool's post-war architecture?

"Municipal architecture is dispiriting at the best of times, but when combined with the British genius for creating the dismal, it makes for a cityscape that's anything but Elysian."

Or even his description of the weather?

"A foot race with someone collapsing of heat stroke because the temperature rose a couple of degrees above freezing."

He saves some of his most-pointed criticism for Liverpool's industrial decline and inability to aspire to anything greater than bars, retail outlets, and "revitalized" docks, which now look a lot like Winnipeg's The Forks or any city with a waterside development - Baltimore? Duluth? Bar Harbor?

"We hoped for paradise, we got the anus mundi."

My trip to Liverpool

The film brought me back to my one and only visit to Liverpool - a Beatles pilgrimage, of course.

If there's something better than sitting in a bus on Penny Lane listening to Penny Lane on a tinny speaker, I don't know what it is.

Like a Torontonian asked for his description of Winnipeg, when I told Londoners of my planned journey to Liverpool, they warned me that "things are nasty in the north."

When I got to Liverpool, I wasn't disappointed by the lovely people and the equally lovely Magical Mystery Tour, even if Davies hates the Beatles and dismisses them in the film in seconds with a sarcastic recital of their most-famous lyrics, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."

I found that most Liverpudlians had a similar love/hate thing going with their city and country as we do with ours, more aware and intimate with its promises and failings than any visitor could be.

"Enjoy England," one person told me. "We don't."

Sound familiar?

My favorite comic-book author and Letterman guest dies at 70

Dave and Harvey crash Live at Five with Roker and Cafferty.

It was a bad week for Cleveland: LeBron James moved to the heat and the Heat, and native son George Steinbrenner went to that big Yankee Stadium in the sky.

But, even worse, my favorite Cleveland underground comic writer, Letterman guest, and curmudgeon - Harvey Pekar - died from cancer at age 70.

American Splendor

In 1976, Pekar started writing comic books based on his life and job as a file clerk at the Cleveland VA Medical Center.

Pekar's American Splendor comics - the title is ironic! - are about working-class Cleveland and Pekar's mundane, regular-guy life: his paranoia, anger at the world, and himself.

I bought Pekar's comics as they came out at (the now-closed) Schinders in Minneapolis - one more reason to drive to the big city! - but for most people, the collection American Splendor: the Life and Times of Harvey Pekar is a good place to find out what's so great about the guy.


Pekar's graphic novel, Our Cancer Year, is his best self-contained work, chronicling his harrowing and depressing battle with cancer. To this day, I'm haunted by the panel where Pekar drops the groceries in the snow and can't pick them up - the sheer helplessness of it all.

For all of his self-disparagement, Pekar had a lot of success, the pinnacle of which was the great, Sundance-winning film American Splendor, starring Paul Giamatti as our anti-hero:


"Every American city is depressing in its own way."

Pekar also showed up in two of my all-time favorite Canadian documentaries, ridiculously unavailable online, the video store, or maybe anywhere - Vinyl and I, Curmudgeon. Pekar was an avid collector of jazz records and grumpy, which explains his appearance in both.

The Letterman years

Pekar first came to my attention in the 80s in his handful of appearances on Late Night with David Letterman, which are notable for Pekar's subversive rants - altogether missing from late-night talk shows today.

This one got Pekar banned from Late Night "for life." In the pre-September 11 world, Pekar made Letterman pray out loud for "a terrorist:"



The life ban didn't last long: Pekar appeared on Letterman's Late Show twice after his Late Night outburst, again accusing Letterman of being a shill for the man and having contempt for his audience.

Pekar told the LA Times:

"On some of the shows, I was doing a deliberate self-parody, and now there's a lot of people that think I'm some sort of maniac, you know? I'd rather be liked than thought of as a crazy man, but with Letterman, I've been in a situation where you either lay down and let him insult you or you do something about it. Most people keep their mouth shut and let him dump on them. I don't wanna do that."

Comic books, talk shows, and Cleveland will never be the same: