Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ten great moments in insult history

I've never been so insulted in all my life.

I wasn't counting on the big response to yesterday's blog post, "What's the best insult you've ever heard or said?" But based on my call for insult submissions, there's clearly a pent-up demand for them - boneheads! Oops, sorry about that.

I thank you all for your input, including the person who helpfully tweeted me this classic insult: "Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet up your purview, and ram it up your ******* with a ********** *****-****!"

At least I hope he was responding to my request...

As a follow-up post, here are my 10 favorite moments in insult history:

1. The French taunting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail

2. Hawkeye in any episode of M*A*S*H

Five-star general: "I find your behavior insulting, Hawkeye."
Hawkeye: "Yeah, well, some guy just insulted this kid's body!"

3. Princess Leia in Star Wars

Among her greatest hits:
  • "I recognized your foul stench when I was brought onboard."
  • "Would someone get this walking carpet out of my way?"
  • "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"

4. Don Rickles, any night

"Hello, dummies."

5. Groucho Marx, A Day at the Races

Flo: "I've never been so insulted in all my life!"
Groucho: "Well, it's early yet."

And a barrage of insults from Duck Soup:

6. Lloyd Bentsen sticks it to Dan Quayle

7. James Cagney says, "Talk to the grapefruit"

8. Winston Churchill tells off a lady

Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
Churchill: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

9. David Letterman makes an arse of a Gabor sister

Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Kiss my ass!"
Letterman: "Looks to me like an all-day job."

10. Kenton Larsen to high-school taunters

"Takes one to know one, assface."

1 comment:

  1. I always liked Pierre Trudeau's, "I've been called worse things by better people."


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