I wasn't counting on the big response to yesterday's blog post, "What's the best insult you've ever heard or said?" But based on my call for insult submissions, there's clearly a pent-up demand for them - boneheads! Oops, sorry about that.
I thank you all for your input, including the person who helpfully tweeted me this classic insult: "Allow me to pop a jaunty little bonnet up your purview, and ram it up your ******* with a ********** *****-****!"
At least I hope he was responding to my request...
As a follow-up post, here are my 10 favorite moments in insult history:
1. The French taunting in Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. Hawkeye in any episode of M*A*S*H
Five-star general: "I find your behavior insulting, Hawkeye."
Hawkeye: "Yeah, well, some guy just insulted this kid's body!"
3. Princess Leia in Star Wars
Among her greatest hits:
- "I recognized your foul stench when I was brought onboard."
- "Would someone get this walking carpet out of my way?"
- "Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?"
4. Don Rickles, any night
5. Groucho Marx, A Day at the Races
Flo: "I've never been so insulted in all my life!"
Groucho: "Well, it's early yet."
And a barrage of insults from Duck Soup:
6. Lloyd Bentsen sticks it to Dan Quayle
7. James Cagney says, "Talk to the grapefruit"
8. Winston Churchill tells off a lady
Lady Astor: "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
Churchill: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
9. David Letterman makes an arse of a Gabor sister
Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Kiss my ass!"
Letterman: "Looks to me like an all-day job."
10. Kenton Larsen to high-school taunters
"Takes one to know one, assface."