Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I bombed my Oscar picks - I blame Mel Gibson

 Ms. Paltrow?

The Oscars had part of my attention. The minimum amount.

I got 14 out of 24 correct on this year's Oscar picks, which means I achieved the high, high score of... 58.3 per cent or a "D." Red River College doesn't give "D+," so I can't even give myself that little emotional boost. Boo.

I don't hate the outcome of the awards, but I did hate the awards show. My observations/tweets:
  • Actors sure loves actors. "Mel Gibson. Your vulnerability is truthful, raw, bare..."
  • Franco and Hathaway have all the sexual chemistry of Rosie O'Donnell and Nathan Lane with none of the jokes. 
  • Two-person monologues suck.
  • A little Billy Crystal is better than a lot of Franco. 
  • Kirk Douglas was the hippest thing about the show, and even he wore out his welcome.
  • Creepy and awkward speeches are creepy and awkward.
  • Canada doesn't bleep "fuck." The U.S. does. I'm proud to be a Canadian!
  • You know there were a million crew members from Terminator: Salvation foaming at the mouth when Christian Bale won the Oscar. 
  • The Star Wars theme livens up even the most dismal of wakes.
  • Best costume designer, meet Toastmasters.
  • Gwyneth Paltrow and Edgar Winter: separated at birth. 
  • Jeff Bridges sucks marbles. 
  • Spiel is the best Berg.
  • They should take Natalie Portman's award back for the Star Wars prequels.
As Roger Ebert so eloquently tweeted:
"The worst Oscarcast I've seen, and I go back awhile. Some great winners, a nice distribution of awards, but the show? Dead. In. The. Water."

1 comment:

  1. Oh man, you had me at that picture of Edgar Winter. I opened the page, looked at that albino magician and went, "this guy's gonna make a Gwyneth Paltrow crack," and you followed through. Wow. I know everyone is coming up with Frankenstein jokes now. I have to disagree on Jeff Bridges sucking though. The dude abides no matter what.


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