Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Oh, crap: I'm Captain Kirk!

Set the iPhone for stun.

Today, I ran around from meeting to meeting in my orange, V-neck sweater, getting things done and saving the world with my iPhone, iPad, and a Jack Sack full of whatever I might need on today's season of 24.

I was feeling pretty damn good about myself until I got a glimpse of my reflection in a window and two things instantly came to mind:

1. "Ewwww. I've been with that man!"

2. "Oh, crap: I'm Captain Kirk!"

It never occurred to me until today, but we're surrounded by some serious sci-fi hardware. No, the cars don't fly, and the robot butler has yet to be fully realized, but can you tell me that the iPhone isn't a Star Trek communicator? Or that the iPad isn't a tricorder?

Sadly, the orange V-neck sweater is still the orange, V-neck sweater. And I haven't sussed it out yet, but the receding hairline is either a tribute to William Shatner or a dying Tribble. The green-skinned girlfriend has yet to materialize. Boo!

The crazy thing is that I could time travel back to my technology-devoid CreComm days (see the previous blog post), haul out the iPhone, and completely blow people's minds:

"It's a portable computer. I use it to surf the net, play games, listen to music, make phone calls..." and that's where they would've burned me for witchcraft.

The future is now

Whenever someone tells me that he or she thinks the iPhone isn't all that - too expensive, or whatever - I like to remind them that not too long ago, any ONE of the 180 apps on my iPhone would've rocked their worlds.

Take Shazam or SoundHound. Shazam recognizes whatever song happens to be playing and reveals the song, artist, and album from whence it came. SoundHound lets you hum a song - hum a song!!! - and it does the same.

Don't beam me up, Scotty, because there's some pretty wicked crap down here on Earth.

It all reminds me of the time my friend's Dad couldn't find the fast-forward button on the TV remote control. After struggling for five minutes, he desperately asked, "How do you make this go to the future?"

We're livin' it, baby!


  1. I'm jealous of your Dick Tracy wristwatch TV.

  2. I'm in love with the documentary 'How William Shatner Changed The World', hosted by (of course) William Shatner himself.

    The iPod touch is in my opinion the signature pad used in every Star Trek series. I'm so excited to talk about it on my blog.

    See, I look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh, crap: I'm a Denebian slime devil".

  3. Here's a technology mind-mess for the ages:
    Jetsons episode:

    A woman in front of George on the space-highway uses A HAND SIGNAL IN HER ROCKET CAR.

    That's like sending a telegram to Scotty that you want to be beamed up.


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