1. The best app ever? Zombie Booth!
2. Jeans + leggings = Jeggings!
3. Smother + Evil = Hurt
4. New invention: "the pole poll!"
5. The best way to celebrate the World Cup is with tasty South-African wines: Flatroof Manor and Fleur du Cap.
6. People who say, "An iPad is just a big iPhone" have never used an iPad or iPhone.
7. The greatest buffet on planet Earth takes place every Sunday at Shaw's Crab House in Chicago.
8. A unionized actor makes $600.25 a day.
9. The Ventures have a kick-ass Christmas album in which they fuse Christmas songs with classic rock. Rudolph meets I Feel Fine, for one.
10. I grudgingly admit that kids do have entertainment value.
11. If you wait long enough to find a Master's degree program you like, eventually someone will create one just for you and work will pay for it.
12. The Web is dead.
13. Star Wars is occultism.
14. The difference between being a happenin' ladies man and desperate alcoholic? On Mad Men: one season.
15. The solution to the big transit-corridor debate:
16. Seventy-five per cent of the movies starring Elvis Presley are terrible.
17. I still want my MTV.
18. No matter how much I complain, I can't stop "Unique."
19. When it comes to sports play-by-plays, always go British.
20. I grudgingly admit that weddings do have entertainment value.
21. Winnipeg's best new restaurant: Segovia.
22. You can trace obnoxious "anonymous" comments on your blog to their exact name and location using StatCounter.
23. For pure entertainment value, nothing beats mugging before a hilarious backdrop.
24. The best argument to use with people who say they "Just like the feel of a newspaper" is the PressReader iPad/iPhone app, which feels even more like a newspaper than a newspaper.
25. Apparently, the only time gas prices don't go up in summer is when BP pours 200 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.
26. Never trust anyone who's seen Michael Buble in concert.
27. One hundred per cent of Americans chuckle out loud at the very mention of something called "Canada Day."
28. "Do not disturb" in Spanish is "No moleste."
29. Sobeys self-serve checkout is perfect. If you've always wanted a job at Sobeys.
30. "No photos in 7-Eleven!"