Saturday, August 21, 2010

The 30 greatest things I learned this summer

1. The best app ever? Zombie Booth!

Two human brains to go, please.

2. Jeans + leggings = Jeggings!

3. Smother + Evil = Hurt

4. New invention: "the pole poll!"

Place the sticker on the place you like and don't like in Winnipeg.

5. The best way to celebrate the World Cup is with tasty South-African wines: Flatroof Manor and Fleur du Cap.

6. People who say, "An iPad is just a big iPhone" have never used an iPad or iPhone.

7. The greatest buffet on planet Earth takes place every Sunday at Shaw's Crab House in Chicago.


8. A unionized actor makes $600.25 a day.

9. The Ventures have a kick-ass Christmas album in which they fuse Christmas songs with classic rock. Rudolph meets I Feel Fine, for one.

10. I grudgingly admit that kids do have entertainment value.


11. If you wait long enough to find a Master's degree program you like, eventually someone will create one just for you and work will pay for it.

12. The Web is dead.

13. Star Wars is occultism.

I hope this was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

14. The difference between being a happenin' ladies man and desperate alcoholic? On Mad Men: one season.

15. The solution to the big transit-corridor debate:

"Back of the bus!"

16. Seventy-five per cent of the movies starring Elvis Presley are terrible.

17. I still want my MTV.

18. No matter how much I complain, I can't stop "Unique."

Cock-a-doodle-don't.

19. When it comes to sports play-by-plays, always go British.

20. I grudgingly admit that weddings do have entertainment value.

Is he climbing up or down?

21. Winnipeg's best new restaurant: Segovia.

22. You can trace obnoxious "anonymous" comments on your blog to their exact name and location using StatCounter.

23. For pure entertainment value, nothing beats mugging before a hilarious backdrop.

King of the Wookiees! And losers!

24. The best argument to use with people who say they "Just like the feel of a newspaper" is the PressReader iPad/iPhone app, which feels even more like a newspaper than a newspaper.

25. Apparently, the only time gas prices don't go up in summer is when BP pours 200 million gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico.

I call it "Last Gasp."

26. Never trust anyone who's seen Michael Buble in concert.

27. One hundred per cent of Americans chuckle out loud at the very mention of something called "Canada Day."

28. "Do not disturb" in Spanish is "No moleste."

29. Sobeys self-serve checkout is perfect. If you've always wanted a job at Sobeys.

30. "No photos in 7-Eleven!"

Just showing your newly reduced magazine section. Jeez!

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