Get lost, kid: there's a new campaign in town.
My flavorless ad campaign has a first name: it's O-S-C-A-R.
Oscar Meyer is unveiling its new TV spots - part of a new $50 million campaign - during the Golden Globes on Sunday, but is forgoing its usual jingles and themelines for something decidedly more McDonald's.
But instead of "I'm Lovin' It," Oscar Meyer is embracing, "It doesn't get better than this."
It does, actually.
Like the McDonald's campaign, the Oscar Meyer themeline is so broad that you could use it to advertise anything you'd like: batteries, underwear, Gatorade, legal services, tractors, porn, cashews...you get the idea.
Whenever a generic, feel-good ad campaign like this comes along, I imagine the boardroom pitch where the ad agency (in this case, New York's McGarry Bowen) wins over the client not with new and resonant creative, but by serving up a heapin' helpin' of something so vague, inoffensive, happy, and bland that it's the only thing that all concerned can agree on.
As Tracy Morgan says in his autobiography, "It's easy to find the middle of the road when the highway is eight lanes wide."
Speaking of: there's nothing more MOR than the new song written for the campaign by Joy Williams, who has written tunes for American Idol contestants. Although it features a glockenspiel - the magic ingredient to every song - it makes Sheryl Crow sound like Morrissey by comparison:
"It's pure bliss, my world is brighter, sheer happiness when we're together - it doesn't get better, it doesn't get better than this. Whoa-oh-oh-oh."If I were more cynical, I'd suggest that the "we" could only mean "me and my wiener," given the product category, but I'm not, so I won't.
You can hear the song ad nauseam here and - while you're at it - fill in your answer to the provocative question, "It doesn't get better than (blank)."
I said "Jay Leno," and signed it "Conan." See what I did there?
"It doesn't get better, it doesn't get better than..." belch.