1. "I am the milkman of human kindness. I will leave an extra pint."
2. "I don't want to change the world; I'm not looking for a new England, I'm just looking for another girl."
3. "I never made the first team, I just made the first team laugh."
4. "I'm celebrating my love for you with a pint of beer and a new tattoo."
5. "Safe sex doesn't mean no sex, it just means use your imagination."
6. "When you wake up to the fact that your paper is Tory, just remember there are two sides to every story."
7. "They must declare their interests, but not their company cars. Is there more to a seat in parliament than sitting on your arse?"
8. "I've always been impressed with a girl who can sing for her supper and make breakfast as well."
9. "Mixing pop and politics, he asks me what the use is. I offer him embarrassment and my usual excuses."
10. "Your life has lost its dignity, its beauty, and its passion: you're an accident waiting to happen!"