Just got back from the gym, which means I'm energized and ready to live blog the Super Bowl ads - in addition to eating my weight in chips and dip followed by a couple o' decanters of Innis and Gunn to wash it down.
Let it be said: I have no interest in either team, the NFL, or even sports - but I will suffer through the game in order to blog about the ads, which are the last 30-second TV spots that anyone cares about and/or bothers to watch anymore.
As they say on every newscast: the Super Bowl live blog begins now! Keep hitting "refresh" until your fingers bleed, OK? OK!
I'm watching the game on the FOX digital feed, which means I won't have to see big, game-day ads from Dufresne.
What's more painful: the "witty" commentator banter or the tribute to America?
I'm reminded that football is a game of inches.
Jack in the Box reminds us that spicy chicken sure is tasty.
I'm bored. When will this game end? Oh, yeah. It hasn't started yet.
"They've traveled a long road to get here." Gag.
I heartily recommend the ADBOWL app (rate the ads as they go along!) and junaio - the app that gives you a 360 view of the football field.
Lea Michele reminds me: I hate Glee, the U.S. National Anthem, and lip syncing.
George W. Bush in the audience. The second boob we've seen on a Super Bowl Sunday.
A second version of the National Anthem by Christina Aguilera. Much sluttier than the first.
Wait a sec - that's not Christina, that's Cher. Very reminiscent of Rick Moranis:
Still no coin toss. I'm losing the will to live.
Ad for Livingsocial.com, a site that apparently has something to do with cross-dressing.
Today's game started in the great Dust Bowl with JFK and was narrated by Michael Douglas.
A shout out to my peeps watching Gandhi on the other channel.
"This is bigger than a football game." But seriously, it's exact size.
Strange pause on the name "Faulk."
First mention of Lombardi: 5:30 p.m.
Green Bay wins the toss. Crowd thinks Green Bay has won the game. There is no wind inside a domed stadium.
Where's the football game?
Interviewing an athlete is about as useful as interviewing a rabbit.
Giggle whenever you hear someone say, "end zone."
No use fussing over dropped balls.
Walt Anderson is a fine referee.
Sweet lord, this is boring.
I wonder what the Black Eyed Peas are doing.
First Super Bowl ads:
Decent Bud Light ad.
Doritos Spicy Nacho ad - not great, but top marks to the dog actor.
Great Audi ad - "Release the Hounds" Featuring Kenny G! Trailer:
Please Lord, make this game stop.
Funnier ads for Doritos. Guy sniffing things.
Chevy proves that old people are always funny.
Pepsi Max: woman throws can, hits woman in head. OK, funny - but...is there a racial undercurrent worth noting here?
Is there a game going on here?
- Pomo ad about an ad: product placement for Bud Light - Genius!
- Another fine Chevy ad - the car can talk to its owner, just like Lassie.
- Another ad for Fast Five - lost of booty interrupted by Vin Diesel.
Green Bay gets a touchdown. Yawn.
Another Pepsi Max ad in which people get hit in the nuts with cans of Pepsi Max.
Another Doritos ad. Price tag so far: $6 million.
Ad for Cowboys and Aliens with Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford. I'll give it a "cool."
Expensive ad for KIA. Overkill!
Green Bay gets another touch down. The game is over at 6:08 p.m.
Animated Eminem spot for Brisk. I'm amused.
Why do football players always suck oxygen on the sidelines? That is oxygen, right?
I've been to Green Bay. It's like Regina with an NFL team.
The only autofail I ever had in CreComm: Pittsburgh. Spelled it without an "H."
Awesome Bridgestone ad about hitting "reply all" by mistake.
Ad for Chevy Bolt - a plug-in car.
Another Super Bowl, another sexists GoDaddy.CO ad. Until Joan Rivers shows up!
"The Packers do a great job on the back end." Oh, my.
Bud's latest spot features Peter Stomare singing Tiny Dancer in the old west. Fun!
Pretty funny Teleflora ad - about a guy sending a message about his girl's rack because "his heart told him to."
Another Transformers movie...but this time it's North Michigan Ave. getting ripped apart. Please spare the Fairfield Inn!
Futuristic ad reminiscent of Apple's 1984 spot, except this time it's for Motorola's tablet. Ugh. I'll take the iPad.
David Bowie's "Changes" backs up the ad for BMW's new...diesel car?!
Long shot of stadium shows a Jumbotron displaying close-ups of players' butts.
Pretty spectacular animated Dungeons and Dragons spot for Coca-Cola.
Thor ad. Dull, dull, dull.
My favorite ad so far: VW Darth Vader.
Great Richard Lewis/Roseanne Barr spot for Snickers.
Careerbuilder monkey ad - good, as far as monkey ads go.
Preview for Super 8 movie. Very E.T.esque.
First email from student predicting sickness - over 12 hours from now. Uh, OK.
Why do you need to wait to announce attendance? Tip: count ticket sales.
Uh-oh. Green Bay touchdown. This game is really over.
Chevy has a car that gives you real-time Facebook updates. Creepy!
The first Captain America trailer has a quick view of the Red Skull. Wheeeeeee!
Awesome CarMax ad featuring the best metaphors ever. I feel like a kid in a metaphor store.
Pittsburgh gets a touchdown. Pittsburgh is surprised.
Just 39 seconds away from halftime. Fergie prepares her humps.
Starting a new blog post for second half...