A Stiff in time saves nine.
For a crash course in satirical slogan writing, look no further than this collection of real slogans from Stiff Records.
The "renegade English record label" was founded by Jake Riviera in the mid-seventies as a tongue-in-cheek reaction to the overblown and pretentious music and marketing campaigns rampant across the major labels.
Proving that every "dominant" product category (Yes, Genesis, Pink Floyd, Coke) needs an "against" category (Elvis Costello, Nick Lowe, Graham Parker, Pepsi), the label actually used these slogans - post-modern, funny, controversial, and memorable - to sell its wares.
- Reversing into tomorrow
- If you can't be sure, be Stiff
- Undertakers to the industry
- Where the fun never sets
- Never give up when you can give in
- Round records for square people
- Hit records for missing people
- Trivia for the collector
- Our record is extremely good
- Where perfection is no accident
- Where industry aids nature
- Money talks, people mumble
- Even our socks smell of success
- There's no business like business
- Be Stiff
- Stemming the poverty of 20th-Century culture
- Surfing on the New Wave
- If it doesn't smell, it'll never sell
- Preplanned deletions
- The world's most flexible record label
- The shape of things that win
- If they're dead - we'll sign 'em
- If it ain't Stiff, it ain't worth a f***
- Keep up if you can
- Where money makes money
- Miracles you can rely on
- The vinyl is final
- Upstairs for thinking, downstairs for dancing
- We came, we saw, we left