The first half of the big Super Bowl was a real barnburner, what with George W. Bush in the audience and...no, actually it was really boring.
We're just moments away from the Black Eyed Peas taking the stage, something that hasn't happened since...2005, when they did the same, damn thing at the Grey Cup.
The live blogging continues:
It's nice to see Jimmy Johnson with his shirt on.
Oh, great: some local spots from Seattle. They're cracking down on parking ticket scofflaws, apparently.
Black Eyed Peas take to the stage on ropes. Phony fans run onto the field.
Band appears to be actually singing, though it's shitty as hell.
Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night - if you've got the Cher "Believe" mic, apparently.
Background dancers look like extras from Woody Allen's "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex."
Slash appears, Fergie sings "Sweet Child O' Mine." Sweet lord, deliver us from these trespasses.
Dick Dale happy to earn a few more royalties from Black Eyed Peas' bastardization of his pretty good song.
The choreographed phony fans go crazy when Usher appears. No, even they don't care.
There's something wrong with the mics - the band is singing into them.
This "rap music" is never going to catch on.
Black Eyed Peas drop the ball more than Pittsburgh.
Band segues into "I've Had the Time of My Life" from Dirty Dancing. Patrick Swayze spins in his grave.
Who are the other two guys in the Black Eyed Peas? They're not necessary.
HTC's ad features Holy Fuck's song, "Lovey Allen." Odds that HTC knows the music in its ad is by a band named "Holy Fuck?" Zero.
An ad for The Daily - the first iPad-only newspaper. I can definitively say that it doesn't hold a candle to the NY Times' app.
Joe Buck and Troy Aikman - the sexual tension in the room must be unbelievable.
I've started marking ad "roughs" from last week's class. Waaaaay better than the Super Bowl.
Clever ad for Cars.com - great moments of learning from others' mistakes.
Another talking baby ad for E*Trade - not funny anymore.
Best Buy - Bieber and Ozzy together again. Not as good or amusing as one might expect.
Pittsburgh gets another touchdown. I get another beer.
New Pirates of the Caribbean trailer. Doesn't look much different from the other films.
MINI ad about cramming stuff in the back of your car. Ho-hum.
HomeAway.com ad features a baby slapped up against a glass. Interesting choice. View it here (embedding disabled).
Boring Hyundai ad.
Timothy Hutton in a pretty funny Groupon ad. Uhhh...if it's supposed to be funny:
Adrien Brody is a crooner in a Stella ad. OK. Another decent CarMax ad - but nothing compares to the over-the-top ad announcing Simon Cowell's return to the X-Factor. Read all about it here.
Tight end...blah blah....end zone....blah blah....Packers....blah blah.
There are now officially more commercials than game. Fine by me!
Our second Super Bowl spot featuring Eminem. A long, expensive spot ostensibly about Detroit, but sponsored by Chrysler.
And back to the game. Zzzzzzz.....
I've been eagerly awaiting the Angry Birds ad. Where is it?!
Microphone on referee is accidentally on. Announcer: "Luckily, he turned it off."
And Americans complain about curling being boring.
Listening to these announcers talk about the game is like listening to my mom talking about her friends - I've never heard of any of these people, but I'm supposed to be interested.
An ad for the NFL featuring all of the sitcoms of today and yesteryear - reminds me of Weezer's "Buddy Holly" video.
Creepy Jack in the Box mascot tries to sell us on a disgusting combo bucket.
Thank God - we're in the fourth quarter of the game.
4/4 = one whole. The only math I can recall from grade 12.
I've got cheese on my head and egg on my face. Because I'm a Packers' fan who bet on the opposing team. Not really, but I'll bet that joke would kill at the bar.
"He was able to secure the catch." Translation: "He caught the ball."
USA Today's ad meter tracks second-by-second responses by a panel of viewers.
Second Johnny Depp movie trailer - this one for Rango. Looks bad.
Talking car ad for Cars.com.
Dogs serve Bud Light. Someone finally posted this one:
Cute Hyundai ad about how crappy life would be if we settled for the first thing we invented.
Ad for animated film, Rio. Looks like every other lousy animated film ever. But...contains secret Angry Birds code.
Started paying attention again when announcer mentions someone "trying to get his hands on my balls." Oh, my.
Please no tie game. Please no tie game. Please no tie game.
Great Bridgestone spot:
And VW brings back the Beetle!
Mercedes needs Diddy for two seconds of its 30-second spot?! Didn't work...
Great House promo - parody of the classic Mean Joe Green Super Bowl ad.
Another po-mo ad - copywriters talk through their new spot for Dodge and it unfolds before our very ads.
iPhone Verizon ad - its USP: you can make phone calls on it now.
Glee does a Chevy ad - which is continued later on the show. Guess I'll never find out how it ends.
Angry Birds Super Bowl ad:
Horrible Skechers commercial with a Kardashian.
Oh yeah: someone won the game.
Update: Angry Birds code: go to screen 13, game 12. Shoot the white bird backward, drop egg on the hill. Get the golden football. Play the special level, beat it, and...watch the commercial all over again!