Here's a conversation stopper: I went to my friend's social on the weekend.
Wait, come back! My friend is none other than local funnyman Jason Beck, who is marrying his child bride after years of keeping her hidden in a creepy room of Yoda collectibles. See, I told you it would be worth the wait.
It's been about five years since I was last dragged kicking and screaming to a social, but - I'll be damned - I actually had a great time.
1. Laughing and dancing!
This video is having trouble, just like the guy in it. Visit the YouTube link here!
2. Air punctuated with the very real possibility of winning a Domo baseball cap.
3. Cold cuts and KUB bread at midnight. Perfect for throwing at dancers.
4. All the coolest dudes go to socials (see below).
5. That moment at 2 a.m. when you're drunk, hot, and sweaty, making out with someone you don't know, and the lights come on. Thank you ladies and gentlemen: the comic stylings of Jason Beck!
6. The slow dance where the bride and groom promise each other a lifetime of dancing round and round in circles in a luke-warm puddle of beer.
7. The only chance a guy has to polka with his mother.
8. "Don't Stop Believin'," "Old Time Rock and Roll," and "Mony Mony" in a row.
9. Raising money for a good cause: two people who have been living together for 13 years and already own a house.
10. Can't think of number 10. Still loaded.