Happy first-ever reading week, RRC students

"Helloooo (helloo, helloo, helloo)."

"Anybody there (there, there, there)?"

Either I'm the last-surviving human after a nuclear apocalypse, or it's Red River College's first-ever reading week.

The background about how this reading week came to be is in this Uniter article written by CreComm grad Kristy Rydz; I think she gives our PR research assignment altogether more credit than it deserves, but I'm a sucker for positive feedback. Let's hear it for being needy, people!

So, what do we do on reading week? I thought I'd start by making a list. Here's what I've got so far:

• Buy marshmallow hearts for half price. Eat them alone.

• Clip toenails.

• Bathe.

• Meet past grads for lunch; give them back unmarked papers.

• Go to the talkies in a horseless carriage.

• Fist-fight U of M students at the Alexander Docks.

• Watch downhill skiing. Continue saying, "That's where my career is going" until it gets a laugh.

"That's where my career is going." Cue tumbleweeds.

• Tweet.

• Watch Jersey Shore again to pick up some of the nuances I may have missed the first time.

• Phone in to the Larry King Show and pretend to be the ghost of Michael Jackson calling from Cleveland.

• Lobby for my inclusion at "Breakfast with the Interim President."

• Work on my Freddie Mercury impression.

"Two hundred degrees - that's why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit!"

• Buy 365 lemon trees to present to people whose feelings I will accidentally hurt over the next 365 days.

• Shoot all of the pigeons in Grand Theft Auto.
  

Those damn pigeons! Just make...them...stop cooing!

• If time permits, read.

Ask not what reading week can do for you; ask what you can do for reading week! To where do I send the lemon trees?