Big Mac: my nickname in high school.
When I was a kid, I'd sometimes go to my friend's house for lunch.
Friend's mom: "Would you boys like Big Macs for lunch?"Cue the look of disappointment on our faces as my friend's mom served up a couple of thick, homemade patties, nails and shards of glass protruding through soggy buns.
"Stupid genericized trademarks," we said in unison, looking directly into the invisible camera that we believed followed us everywhere.
The next day Ronald McDonald showed up at my friend's house with some legal documents regarding use of registered trademark, "Big Mac."
Thinking him a burglar, my friend's mom shot him in the back, killing him. Exonerated in a court of law, she continues to use the term "Big Mac" to describe her terrible hamburgers.