Sunday, January 30, 2011

14 new words of wisdom - let them be

"I don't swear just for the hell of it. Language is a poor enough means of communication. I think we should all the words we've got. Besides, there are damn few words that anybody understands."
- Henry Drummond, Inherit the Wind
Hell, yeah!

Here are 14, new words I've invented or inadvertently stolen from other people (please tell me if I have, and I promise to delete and forget your comment as soon as humanly possible).

Start using them today - until loved ones get angry and threaten to leave you:

1. Appvertiser - Me!

2. Dementiattention - Feigning madness to get attention.

3. Exposer - One who specializes in getting exposure.

4. Faux-worker - A co-worker who relies on you to do all the work.

5. Fourpas (four-pah) - Signing in on Foursquare repeatedly at one sitting in order to become the mayor of a location. 

6. FreeFreep - Finding a paper version of the Winnipeg Free Press and reading it for nothing. 

7. Groupoffer - One who refuses to sign up, use, or say the word "Groupon."

8. Lapp - Santa's app.

9. Napp - Boring app.

10. Newsless - "News" that only exists to give a website more clicks. See: Yahoo News or Entertainment Weekly.

11. Screw U-nuchs - School employees who go on vacation between September and April - when students are in school - even though they already get vacation at Christmas, Spring Break, and two months in summer.

12. Sickocrite - One who often calls in sick, but insists that no one else does the same.

13. Snews - Boring news. See: Yahoo News.

14. Yikesickle - A big icicle that could fall on your head.

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