Twelve new words to dress your language

 See new word #10.

1. Creamium - The premium cream o' the crop, which rises to the top.

2. Duperocess - A bogus or unfair investigation.

3. Famoose - Bullwinkle, for one.

4. IPPed - The past-tense excitement at having had a project approved. "When I got the green light, IPPed my pants."

5. Karmage - The predestined fate of those who litter.

6. Nincome Tax - The extra money you end up paying for being dumb.

7. Enlusiasm - Enthusiasm that comes back to bite you in the arse.

8. Haphazardry - The art of being disorganized.

9. Haphusbandry - The art of carelessly tending plants and animals.

10. Jayked - Nude journalist. See photo at the top of this blog post.

11. Saleure - Showing up at a store to buy discounted items, only to find that there's none left.

12. Slapdashery - The art of being hurried and careless.

10 new words of wisdom: let it be

 See number 7.

1. Asstimate - A guess about whether you will fit into a pair of jeans.

2. Chicksago - The place where former girlfriends live. May or may not be in Illinois.

3. Juddification - The process in which a person starts to look more and more like a Judd. See: Nancy Grace.

4. Manterest - Anything but Pinterest.

5. OMB - On my blog. Example: OMG, it's OMB.

6. Ridick - Short for ridiculous.

7. Rominee -The Republicans' choice after Super Tuesday.

8. Snow puppy - That gunk that gathers in the wheel wells of your call in winter, then falls out on your driveway in spring.

9. Speedom - Freedom to wear one's Speedo.

10. Vapig - Insipid and overstuffed. Paging Mr. Limbaugh.